TEXAS!! (sooo true it isnt even funny!)

[Star♫]

>> THINGS I HAVE LEARNED IN TEXAS
>>
>>
>> 1. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in
the
>> air.
>>
>> 2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
>>
>> 3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus
a
>> few no one has ever seen before.
>>
>> 4. Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are
>> ripe.
>>
>> 5. If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!
>>
>> 6. Nothing will kill bamboo or a mesquite tree.
>>
>> 7. There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their
>> house.
>>
>> 8. A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
>>
>> 9. The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops
>> totally until October 2.
>>
>> 10. Onced and twiced are words.
>>
>> 11. Coldbeer is one word.
>>
>> 12. People actually grow and eat okra.
>>
>> 13. Green grass DOES burn.
>>
>> 14. When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog..or
cat.
>> City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the
night.
>>
>> 15. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the
first
>> few weeks.
>>
>> 16. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to
see
>> a doctor.
>>
>> 17. Fix-in-to is one word. (So is Ya'll - and it's polite grammar)
>>
>> 18. A TANK is a dirt hole that holds water for irrigation, watering
the
>> cows, or swimming.
>>
>> 19. "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start
>> drinking it when you are two.
>>
>> 20. "Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.
>>
>> 21. "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?"
>>
>> 22. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what
time
>> it is.
>>
>> 23. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
>>
>> 24. You measure distance in minutes.
>>
>> 25. You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
>>
>> 26. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
>>
>> 27. You see a car with the engine running in the Wal-Mart parking
lot
>> with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
>>
>> 28. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the
>> store.(note:In the line just above, "fix- in-to" is one word....)
>>
>> 29. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a
>> vegetable.
>>
>> 30. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
both
>> unlocked.
>>
>> 31. You carry jumper cables for your own car.
>>
>> 32. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
>>
>> 33. You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Catsup,
and
>> Tabasco.
>>
>> 34. You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.
>>
>> 35. Sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
>>
>> 36. The local papers cover national and international news on one
page
>> but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
>>
>> 37. The first day of deer season is a state holiday.
>>
>> 38. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
>>
>> 39. You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.
>>
>> 40. All four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and
>> Christmas.
>>
>> 41. You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or
South
>> Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.
>>
>> 42. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin
Wal-Martin"
>> or "off to Wally-world."
>>
>> 43. You describe the first cold snap (below 70 degrees) as good
chili
>> weather.
>>
>> 44. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a
Coke
>> regardless of brand or flavor.
>>
>> 45. Anything less then a funnel cloud on the ground headed for you
is
>> just a little weather and doesn't require a trip to the storm
cellar.